1420. Dhihâr, as in the original agreed upon form, is to liken his wife to the back of his mother. Men used to do that as a form of exaggeration, meaning, “You are as forbidden to me as is the back of my mother.” The scholars then debated whether likening her to other body parts and other maḥram women would take the same ruling; they also debated whether likening her to men or even to animals would take the same ruling. The details of this discussion are largely irrelevant to our times and environment and beyond the scope of this book.
In ambiguous statements, the man will be entrusted with explaining his intention. Ibn Qudâmah said in al-Mughni, “If he says, ‘You are to me like my mother,’ intending dhihâr, then it is (dhihâr) according to the majority, including Abu Ḥaneefah and his two companions, ash-Shâfi‘i and Is-ḥâq. If he intended to honor her or to say that she is like her in age or in some other quality, then this is not dhihâr. What matters is what he reveals about his intention.” (Note that he said ‘like my mother’, not ‘the back of my mother’, which would be dhihâr by consensus.)