The scholars did not establish a minimum age for marriage when conducted by fathers on behalf of their sons and daughters. This does not refer to consummation of the marriage, but only to conducting the contract. In fact, scholars agree that the husband is not permitted to consummate the marriage until his wife is ready, as determined by experts. This permission to conduct the contract on behalf of child grooms and brides applied only to fathers (and, according to ash-Shâfi‘i, grandfathers) since they are expected to be compassionate and protective towards their children. Young girls without fathers cannot be married until they reach adulthood and agree to the marriage. There is also an opinion (attributed to Ibn Shubrumah and al-Aṣamm) that prevents even the fathers from marrying off their young children.
Before we discuss the justification for this matter within its historical context, it is important to note that many contemporary scholars allow the ruler to set a minimum age for marriage. This is known as ‘restricting the permissible’ (taqyeed al-mubâḥ). Whether you agree with that position or not, it is essential to mention it when discussing this matter with skeptics. It may enable them to get beyond their cultural biases. When taking part in such conversations, you are speaking on behalf of Islam and Islamic scholarship in general, not representing your own favorite positions.
In all nations, people in the past married at earlier ages than they do now. In Europe, during the time of Shakespeare, if a woman was unmarried at the age of 13 or 14, it was considered late for her to marry, as reflected in Shakespeare’s writings. In the US, almost half of the states set no minimum age for marriage. California has raised the minimum legal age for sexual intercourse many times just within the past 25 years. Until 1889, it was 10 years, and then it became 14 years; in 1897, it was increased again to 16 years; and then in 1913, it became 18 years. As of recently, it was set at 13 in New Mexico and 14 in Mississippi and Iowa. (For more on this, read Peter Stearn’s Sexuality in World History.) The recent extensive changes in world circumstances have led to enormous changes in people’s customs and norms, and one does not have to agree with the age of marriage in a certain society, where the context of the circumstances and normative customs has an undeniable impact on our choices. Clearly, it would be wrong to judge the entire history of humanity from one’s personal or societal viewpoint. While there are some mental axioms that human beings agree upon, most of what is described as ‘logical’ is in fact variable and relative, based largely on social constructs that are products of the dominant culture in a particular time and place. What sounds totally reasonable today may have seemed completely absurd in the recent past, and vice versa.
Islam’s guidance was not meant for us only, but rather for all people in all places and times, from the middle of the desert to the forests of Africa, Asia, or Latin America; in the 21st century and the 7th century, in between, and beyond them. Permitting a practice is very different from requiring it; the point is to grant people flexibility so that they may exercise discretion in accordance with their various circumstances and needs. In fact, scholars like ash-Shâfi‘i who allowed a father to marry off his young daughter still described it as a detested act.
Islam’s guidance was not meant for us only, but rather for all people in all places and times, from the middle of the desert to the forests of Africa, Asia, or Latin America; in the 21st century and the 7th century, in between, and beyond them. Permitting a practice is very different from requiring it; the point is to grant people flexibility so that they may exercise discretion in accordance with their various circumstances and needs. In fact, scholars like ash-Shâfi‘i who allowed a father to marry off his young daughter still described it as a detested act.
Modern medical sciences state that most women reach the age of puberty between 12 and 14 years, with the average being 12.75 years, but there is a broad spectrum from one girl to another and from one environment to another. In fact, doctors do not even consider puberty at age 7 or 8 as sickness. [Saenger, Paul. Overview of precocious puberty. In: UpToDate, Rose, BD (Ed), UpToDate, Waltham, MA, 2007.]
Finally, in the vast majority of Muslim countries today, there is a minimum age for marriage for both men and women. Even if there were not, most Muslims would still choose to wait for their children to mature before marrying them off. They should first be able to competently handle the responsibilities of marriage. The Messenger of Allah (SA) said: